i almost never force things to happen. i just let things be. when it comes to blogging also, its pretty much the same. i mean i never come online open the blog and then update it for the sake of it. it just happens. whenever i am in a mood to take a break, scribble down something, i just do that. on top of that, i have never tried to improve up on anything. i have left things be as it so. probably the reason why my love of things said in simple terms is till alive. there are a handful and more of people who make you run for a dictionary when you read what they have written. i will never, in my life be opting and prefering such things. i love the beauty of simple sentences and the volume it could possibly carry.
there used to be days when i would instantly scribble on my classroom desk or notebook or whatever paper i have in my hand or in reach.. even on question papers in exam halls, i used to note down. oh yes, i always finish my exams way ahead of time. obviously i dont write every answers. these days i have been frustrated over a lot of issues. i have been getting angry more and more. its almost like i am falling prey to my anger and letting it take the destructive form. i have lost the ability to control my anger. i totally succumb to it and then it just comes, destroys and goes, i really dont know how do i get back to the normal mode, where i could think and act and control anger.
i have also reached back to the stage of letting go of people and be careless about it. its almost like i am realising how certain people treat me and what they expect from me, and i have become a totally different person, someone who i am not totally liking. i have pretty much become a follower of an eye for an eye these days. i just hurt people a lot, tell things on their face and then care a damn about it.
i am just not being able to help it, and i dont know what to do. probably i must take a break and wander around places. this coming weekend is something that i look forward to. i will be going back home for a week and the back to asylum.. i hope things become better when i am back !