Vengeance

words uttered in anger
unknown of the pain created
breaking apart the bonds
leading to a state of chaos


ripples on the surface
whrilwinds deep down
vengeance, melting down the heart
pay back is sweet, when its old.

Escaping From You

the voices in my head
taking me to places that
are never know to me
circles, lines and shadows
the visuals in my head
flying with them for long
falling prey to nightmares
losing my sanity over them

escaping from the sense of reality
and every thoughts of you
saving my heart from breaking apart
living in a world of my own.

Not Knowing What To Do

i almost never force things to happen. i just let things be. when it comes to blogging also, its pretty much the same. i mean i never come online open the blog and then update it for the sake of it. it just happens. whenever i am in a mood to take a break, scribble down something, i just do that. on top of that, i have never tried to improve up on anything. i have left things be as it so. probably the reason why my love of things said in simple terms is till alive. there are a handful and more of people who make you run for a dictionary when you read what they have written. i will never, in my life be opting and prefering such things. i love the beauty of simple sentences and the volume it could possibly carry.

there used to be days when i would instantly scribble on my classroom desk or notebook or whatever paper i have in my hand or in reach.. even on question papers in exam halls, i used to note down. oh yes, i always finish my exams way ahead of time. obviously i dont write every answers. these days i have been frustrated over a lot of issues. i have been getting angry more and more. its almost like i am falling prey to my anger and letting it take the destructive form. i have lost the ability to control my anger. i totally succumb to it and then it just comes, destroys and goes, i really dont know how do i get back to the normal mode, where i could think and act and control anger.

i have also reached back to the stage of letting go of people and be careless about it. its almost like i am realising how certain people treat me and what they expect from me, and i have become a totally different person, someone who i am not totally liking. i have pretty much become a follower of an eye for an eye these days. i just hurt people a lot, tell things on their face and then care a damn about it.

i am just not being able to help it, and i dont know what to do. probably i must take a break and wander around places. this coming weekend is something that i look forward to. i will be going back home for a week and the back to asylum.. i hope things become better when i am back !

A Snapshot of Moment

A Tag After An Year,Also !

1. What can you do today that you were not capable of a year ago?

I am almost qualified for a job.

2. What's been on your mind most lately?

Taking some real hard decisions, and its consequences

3. Right now, at this moment, what to you want most?

Family

4. In order of importance, how would you rank: happiness, money, love, health, fame?

Health, Money, Love, Fame, Happiness.

5. What word best describes the way you have spent the last month of your life?

Sleep

6. What is the #1 motivator in your life right now?

The worries that trouble my mind

7. In one sentence, who are you?

I am the one blessed to touch hearts with words and break hearts with acts

8. What do you want to be known for?

Honesty

9. If you have to move 3000 miles away, what one thing would you miss most?

Depends on to which side.

10. In one year from today, how would you think your life would be different?

A Job, A Vehicle, and Proper Internet. Also Drinks


11. Who makes you feel good about yourself?

Everybody around me

12. What are the top three qualities you look for in a friend?

Heart to Heart connection, Openness, Understandability

13. What has fear of failure stopped you from doing?

Nothing.


14. What is something you have always wanted since you were a kid?

Freedom, Independence, Money

15. What stands between you and what you want?

Money.

16. What do you do when nothing else seems to make you happy?

I walk, alone, through the crowded roads, I sit near the beach side, and listen to the voices in my head.

17. When did you first realize that life is short?

Never. Its never too short.

18. What do you need to spend more time doing?

Health.

19. What issues do you continually refuse to confront?

Nothing, May be questioning the way I do things.

20. What's something a lot of people do that you disagree with?

Judge from their prespective.

21. What's a common misconception people have about you?

That I am 16 and arrogant.

22. What's something no one can take away from you?

The child in me.

23. What is something that you would hate to go without for a day?

Mobile.

24. When you look into the past, what do you miss the most?

Childhood

25. What memory from this past year makes you smile the most?

A lot of them.


26. What's the number one change you need to make in your life in the next twelve months?

Control my Anger.

27. If not now, then when?

Never.

28. What have you done, that you are truly proud of?

Being myself. Accepting my mistakes and correcting them always. Giving people what I have the most, my time, when they need it the most.

29. What's something new that you recently learned about yourself?

A lot of things. I have been going through the transformation stage for some time.

30. What do you want to remember forever?

The People in my life.

31. What could society do without?

The nose that keeps coming to everyone’s issues.

32. What is one thing right now that you are totally sure of?

A Life.

33. If you had the opportunity to get a message across to a large group of people, what would your message be?

Expectations hurt a lot. Do not ever expect, also, be yourself and let others be too.

34. What's something you said you'd never do, but have since done?

Giving people more than 3 chances for the same mistake they do with my life.

35. What's something you changed your mind about when you grew older?

Money. I thought love was much important than money, but well, money can buy almost everything.

36. What didn't last forever, but still worth your while?

My Girl.

37. If you could go back in time and tell a younger version of yourself one thing, what would you tell?

Dude, get out the science group. Its not the thing for you. Learn what you like, language.

38. If you knew you were dying in 60 seconds, what would your last words be?

Can I have a cup of coffee please !

39. When it's all said and done, will you have said more than you've done?

No.


40. What questions do you often ask yourself?

How long? And why did I do this.

Hiding My Tears From You

The decisions were already made. There was nothing that we could change. It was just our hearts, unwilling to accept things in the new way. We have cried enough too. One of us has to step up to the reality and make it a smooth walk for us, for both of us.

It wasn’t easy, hiding my tears from you; it wasn’t easy; not showing you what is in me. You would read everything in my eyes, even my silence; it wasn’t easy pretending to be fine. That second when you came close, i knew i had to do this. I knew i had to break my heart, and let you not know, let you not see even a sign of what i am going through. I faked a smile for once. I faked anger on you for once, i faked hatred for once. And you walked away. I stood there, watching you walk to infinity.

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